This morning at about 9 am I turned onto Tchoupitoulas [Choppatoolahs] on my way to deliver some ceramic birdies to Emily w/ a quick stop at the Sprint store to investigate & hopefully fix the annoying persistent, consistent malfunction of my ‘smart’phone – the daisy wheel printer of the smart phone that is, and I’d prefer the daisy wheel. Anyhow! I turned right, heard the weirdest squealing noise coming towards me from around the bend ahead & thank you lightning quick reflexes – i love you! suddenly braked to avoid the car spiraling towards me. Jesus. What a way to start the day. The car continued to spiral in front of me like a clumsy, drunken ice skater [blades of glory?] – or an off-balance whirling gyroscope, the driver was totally unable to stop or right the car – when he finally turned it around and stopped [after what seemed like 10 incredibly slow minutes] and he slowly drove by me – his eyes were wild, I’ve never seen someone sooo scarily drunk or messed up on whatever it was & I used to live in Oregon Hill, RVA!
Everything slowed and numbly stretched as they do in these eerie moments where things suddenly hop tracks. I heard the one side of my brain trying to comprehend what was happening while the other side was in survival mode – no time for that processing stuff – brakes! And then: car is gone, pull over, see what happened. So i pulled into the big ole’ wal-mart parking lot and remembered the fast tinkling, crashing sound of birdies : [ 35 little fellas either now head-less, tail-less or too chipped to send out to people : [ I called the fuzz now processing that the driver was still driving and could hit someone else – hopefully they found him before hurting himself or anyone.
Still in surviving / maintaining brain mode – I drove on to the Sprint store where I had an appointment. Now late, I said sorry for being late – I just avoided a major car crash w/ a maniac driver. The woman behind the counter gave me a ‘mmhm’ – I guess they hear it all. The woman next to me in line nodded & ogled me empathetically. Corporate customer service what it is these days – they gave my pretty yet mostly un-functional phone an update and a ‘These types of phones.. since they are so poorly designed and are really difficult to repair and since you don’t have insurance, you would have to buy another one for the full price of $200.’ Really? Is that really how things work, this is ok to do as a company??!! It’s amazing how the planned obsolescence of objects corresponds so well with their limited warranty dates.
Leaving the sprint store I noticed the headlight on my car popped out & hanging by its cords due to the extreme braking. : [
Onto Emily’s – at the end of Tchoupitoulas is the back of the Audubon Zoo. Shew. I stopped again and went through the box of birdies to handsign/inspect more closely for damage while sitting near the giraffes. Made me think of the TED talk I watched last night by Alain de Botton and why we need nature in our lives -as a need for escape from the human anthill, how calming it is to look at something non-human. The giraffes were really soothing.
Gotta take the downs with the ups, Tonto & I are ok & didn’t crash cars!! – that’s the important part and I sure do hope that the mystery driver didn’t hit anyone, will check the news! Voof – a trip that really should have taken an hour or two tops, has now sucked up more than half a day and I’m trying to get my focus back/process my weird morning. I stopped and got a cupcake to help right the day after dropping off the surviving birds at Emily’s. It helped a little : ] Ok off to start my morning again!! ps – i wish i had a hot tub. And a masseuse. I think I’ll just stay in my neck of the woods for the rest of the day, maybe make some birdies instead of the other things I set out to do.
after i scooped most of them back into the box, looks a lot like a crime scene doesn’t it! & ironically on top of new orleans on the map!
dear t is just fine!! stopped at audubon park & he likes the giraffe-watching too.
surviving birds re-aligned while sitting near the giraffes : ]
just knocked their poor heads & tails right off! : [
i got the ‘drunken leprechaun’ in honor of the possibly drunk fellow that very nearly collided with us at high, twirling speeds and the luck of not actually getting hit – thank you central nervous system, i really appreciate you! tasty cupcake – dark chocolate cuppycake w/ ‘irish channel cream cheese frosting’ named after the irish channel neighborhood here in Nola. C’mon lucky leprechauns! I’m thinking of this ‘Keep Calm and Carry On’, it’s so soothing too.